Tag Archives: cutting

Still Relapsing

Posted on November 6, 2015 by MyClandestineLife

I’ve been purging for almost eleven weeks now. In about two weeks I’ll fit the DSM criteria for bulimia. (average binge/purge >1x/wk for 3 months). This is taking up too much of my time, and I’m tired. I’ve lost 5 … Continue reading →

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Months gone by…

Posted on November 6, 2011 by MyClandestineLife

…and I’m on here again. Eating has been going well, but lately I’ve been…almost…wanting to get back into restricting. I feel too big, even though my friends keep telling me I’m skinny. They’re envious of me, yet I want to … Continue reading →

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Things That Help Me Live

Posted on April 26, 2011 by MyClandestineLife

Poetry – writing and reading reciprocal (my friend and I write back and forth)Blood – taste and sight, cuttingPain – experiencing the aftereffectsMusic – for every moodGod – my strength and salvationLearning – experience, wisdom, knowledgeWalking – in a forest … Continue reading →

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Lying to Myself about SI

Posted on November 3, 2010 by MyClandestineLife

 I’ve once again come back here for comfort, to rid myself of tension, to share my thoughts/feelings, to process, and to just write. As always, any post on self-injury can be triggering, so read on with caution.I’ve been thinking about self-injury. … Continue reading →

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Posted on April 6, 2010 by MyClandestineLife

  Where I’ve Been I have been absent from Xanga for almost a month now. I blame it on the two new residents living in my house. Now that I have people to talk to who are close to my … Continue reading →

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Cutting as a Substitute

Posted on February 4, 2010 by MyClandestineLife

I realized something this week: I have been using cutting as a substitute for interpersonal physical contact. Most people my age have had at least one significant other whereas I have not. I will be 20 in a few months … Continue reading →

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Sleep vs. SI vs. energy

Posted on December 28, 2009 by MyClandestineLife

I want to do at least one deep cut, but I’m too tired. I was going to do it last night, but then it got too late and I became tired. Maybe I’m trying to tell myself not to do … Continue reading →

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Some reasons for cutting

Posted on December 24, 2009 by MyClandestineLife

I cut myself tonight, just 25 – 15 right and 10 left. None were deep enough. It leaves me unsatisfied and impatient for more…and the impatience just grows the longer I try to wait it out. Sometimes I find myself … Continue reading →

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Anger

Posted on December 2, 2009 by MyClandestineLife

I am so irritable right now. I feel like cutting to get myself out of this mood because I hate how I treat other people when I am like this. I snap at them for little things. I’m argumentative. I’m … Continue reading →

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Psychologist tomorrow

Posted on December 1, 2009 by MyClandestineLife

I see my psychologist tomorrow. I’m not sure if seeing her is really helping or anything. It seems like we usually go over the same issues. My self-injury has increased in frequency, but it never feels as if it is … Continue reading →

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