Monthly Archives: August 2006

I’m going to try to explain this feeling. I feel like I don’t belong on earth. I am sure of where I’m going after my body dies, and I just don’t want to live anymore. This life is temporary. I’m … Continue reading →

sure, I might be able to put on a happy face and pretend like everything is ok, but it’s just a mask, it’s not me, it’s someone else, I’m living someone else’s life I’m not living I’m dead inside I’m … Continue reading →

ARG! I hate my stupid back pain so much! Today it was so bad that I couldn’t really walk or move. An ice pack helped a little, along with not moving and painkillers. I was almost crying from the pain, … Continue reading →

I’m doing a little better, but my eating is still weird. I have cravings for fruit, then another day it’ll be chocolate or Honey Bunches of Oats! It’s very strange…

Ok, I have been feeling the urges again; I want to cut and I want to purge. Don’t worry, I haven’t…yet. I feel like I would e making God weep or something. I know that those actions aren’t pleasing to Him. … Continue reading →

I know I have srange eating habits; I’m trying to get them under control. Before these last few weeks I was eating too little, and then I was eating too much. I want to try to have a “balanced” diet. … Continue reading →

Ok, with the added weight I feel… sluggish fat heavy bloated lazy angry defeated out of control

121.1 lbs, I think that explains everything. …so, as of tonight I’m restricting my intake again and not eating ANY junk food

I decided to put off the printing until I have a very secure place to hide them, preferably behind a lock! I also have the files saved on my computer, but I don’t want anyone to find and read them … Continue reading →