Tag Archives: hate

How I’ve been doing…really.

Posted on March 4, 2009 by MyClandestineLife

126.4 lbs     I’m going to be completely honest. Life has been difficult for me, and I think it’s mostly my fault. I have created these problems for myself, I have made my life turn out like this, it is … Continue reading →

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Perfection.

Posted on March 2, 2009 by MyClandestineLife

I don’t often blog about perfection, or even worry myself with it. But if I was perfect I would… be in control not have any scars weigh less be beautiful have an amazing boyfriend have a 4.0 GPA be disciplined … Continue reading →

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Drunk consequences.

Posted on January 13, 2009 by MyClandestineLife

Okay, well, in my last weblog I talked about how my friends were drunk. The one that was plastered wound up not going to the hospital and he is okay today. Jacob is fine too. Ryan, the idiot that provided … Continue reading →

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You know…

Posted on January 6, 2009 by MyClandestineLife

You know, I don’t hate myself as much as I usually do right now. I don’t know why; I should be upset.Why? Because… my back’s been hurting, and it does now I made a “happy” little pain-filled trip to the … Continue reading →

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Short version of my last post (written circa February 2008)

Posted on December 18, 2008 by MyClandestineLife

Sometimes I desperately wish I had someone I could lean on, who would hold me tight when I’m having a difficult day, who would love me even when I’m cranky, who would care for me through everything. I often repel … Continue reading →

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I wrote this a while back…(Feb 2008?) I just found it now while cleaning out some files.

Posted on December 17, 2008 by MyClandestineLife

Your Guardian Angel (by The Red Jumpsuit Apparatus) When I see your smileTears run down my faceI can’t replace.   And now that I’m strongI have figured out,How this world turns coldAnd it breaks through my soulAnd I know, I’ll … Continue reading →

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Posted on December 3, 2008 by MyClandestineLife

I’ve been doing pretty well today. I walked and talked with one of my friends about some of what’s been bothering* me…and that seemed to help. I decided that I don’t “like like” one of my guy friends (or at … Continue reading →

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Why

Posted on November 21, 2008 by MyClandestineLife

Why am I always so depressed? Why do I cry alone? What is wrong with me? Why does no one care? Whatever. Thanks for all the frickin support…not. Sorry. I’m just in an angry mood, yes, at myself again. It’s … Continue reading →

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I hate myself

Posted on November 4, 2008 by MyClandestineLife

Yes, I’m in one of those “moods” again. I hate how depressed I get and drag everyone around me down or hate them for being happy. I hate my lack of motivation, my lack of self-worth, my disparaging thoughts. I … Continue reading →

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I am fat fat fat fat fat fat fat

Posted on October 24, 2008 by MyClandestineLife

I hate myself. Right now I am making a commitment to lose 20 pounds. I want to lose this weight within two months, two weeks. That is by the week after New Years (January . If I break it down … Continue reading →

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